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i am jack's poisoned liver
|| by jeff | friday, june 4, 2004 8:53pm | comments(0) | permalink | post comment ||

xfest was yesterday. that's basically a technical conference for game developers, but i can neither share - nor do you want to hear - any more info about that.

anyway, afterwards came the typical shmoozing party, held this year at gameworks for a change of pace. but once you get enough game developers into a room, secluded as it were from any sizeable population of females, and start pumping drinks into them, a strange thing happens ... they get the urge to go out.

so, i and 5 or so of my non-english speaking new best friends decided we should meet up with some other peeps at this place called cowgirls, inc.

what followed was a night of debauchery that will not soon be equaled - at least, not by me. first of all, this place, cowgirls, is downright skanky. in fact, i'd go so far as to claim that it is the pulsating center from which all other things skankified are born and subsequently ejaculated out into the universe at large. yeah, it's kinda like that.

to put it another way: the waitresses wear chaps and a smaller cousin of hot pants (that i'm not sure have been given a name as yet by dignified society) ... and not a whole lot else. the only things that cut through the dense fog of second hand smoke are the flashlights of the security guards and the Kid Rock that blasts at decibels that could only be accurately described in hyperbole. hell, there's even an electric bull. and it was ladies' night.

now, you take an environment such as this, then you add a liberal dosage of my good friend jack daniels (say 10 or 11 drinks), a good few beers, and a shot or 3 of some lemony stuff (which could have been alcohol or dish soap - i'm not sure which). sprinkle in a dash of complete strangers that only seem to know the english words for "cheers" and "girls". then top it all off with a performance act delivered shot of jagermeister from one of the helpful staff. and, well, let's just say the delectable dessert that pops out is the kind of night that you don't want to tell a lot of people about. so, i figured i'd put it on my website.

my ears are still ringing. my lungs feel like twin ashtrays. my liver gave up and skipped town at some point during the night. meaning my body is no longer able to catalyze alcohol, and as near as i can tell, i'm still drunk.

in other words, i had a great time.